Finding My Zen:
Lessons from Airports, Mountains, and Everyday Life
Learning to Be Present, Let Go, and Embrace the Messiness of Life
Robert M. Pirsig wrote in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, “Sometimes it’s a little better to travel than to arrive.” That may have been true in the pre-9/11 world, but traveling is far from enjoyable for me. Between TSA lines, awkward small talk with drivers, and my own travel anxiety, leaving the house feels like an Olympic feat.
Still, I’ve found that every trip — whether up a mountain or across the Atlantic — teaches me something about letting go, being present, and finding Zen, not just on the mountaintop but in the chaos of everyday life.
The Anxiety of Traveling
Sometimes it’s not about the destination — or the journey — but how we deal with the chaos in between.
For me, travel anxiety begins before I even leave the house. How many socks? Did I pack enough handkerchiefs? Is my charger in the right bag? Then comes the ordeal of getting to the airport: the driver shows up cheerful and chatty at 5 am, but I’m in no mood to discuss traffic or the weather.
Once at the airport, it’s a circus: long lines, passport checks, shoes on or off (thank God for Europe, where I can keep them on). The executive lounge I used to enjoy now feels like a zoo — shoes off, people sprawled across chairs.
And yet, the moment I arrive at my destination, everything shifts. The stress melts away, and I remember: I’m good at just being. Zen calls this suchness — the practice of simply existing without judgment or resistance.
Exercise: On your next trip, take a moment in the chaos to pause, breathe, and observe your surroundings. Let yourself feel grounded, even in the noise.
The Zen of the Mountain Top
The Zen you bring to the mountain is not the same Zen you take back down.
There’s a famous Zen saying: “The only Zen you find on the mountain is the Zen you bring up there.” But I disagree. True Zen isn’t something you carry; it’s something you discover.
During one retreat, I fasted for five days on a mountain. At first, I was burdened by mental and physical baggage. But by the end of 11 days, I felt lighter, clearer, and connected to nature. The mountain didn’t give me Zen — it helped me shed what was blocking it.
Zen isn’t an idea or philosophy you pack in your mind; it’s the experience of emptying yourself to receive what the moment offers.
Exercise: Spend five minutes outside today. Leave your phone behind and simply observe nature — its sights, sounds, and textures — without labeling or analyzing.
Letting Go of People and Habits
Letting go isn’t about loss — it’s about making room for what truly matters.
Over the years, I’ve learned the hard way to set boundaries. A friend who’s perpetually an hour late for dinner? I’ve stopped inviting them to sit-down meals. Another friend, struggling with alcoholism, fell into a ditch and ended up in the hospital. I realized I couldn’t save them, and it was draining me to try.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up on people — it means choosing to prioritize your own peace of mind.
Exercise: Reflect on a habit or relationship that drains you. Write down one small step you can take to create a boundary or let go.
The Fear of Silence
We fill silence with words because we’re afraid of what might surface in stillness.
Most people can’t handle silence. We nervously fill pauses with talk about the weather or traffic. In London, where small talk is an art form, I once joked, “Do all Brits listen to the weather report religiously?” They do — and I avoid it.
Zen teaches us to embrace silence. It’s in those pauses, those “pregnant moments,” where connection deepens.
Exercise: In your next conversation, allow a moment of silence. Resist the urge to fill it and see how the dynamic shifts.
Zen in Everyday Life
Alan Watts said, “Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes.”
This idea resonates deeply with me. I don’t need a mountain retreat to practice Zen. Whether it’s commuting through Grand Central or walking busy Manhattan streets, I’ve learned to find peace amidst the chaos.
Zen is about fully engaging with life, no matter where you are. It’s not about escaping to tranquility but finding it in the mundane.
True Zen is found not in escape but in engagement.
Exercise: Choose one routine activity — washing dishes, walking to work — and do it with complete attention. Feel every movement, every detail.
What I Learned from Zen and the Art of Letting Go
The Zen you find isn’t tied to a place — it’s tied to your presence.
Pirsig’s famous book taught me to question everything. I used to think Zen was something you attained in specific places or through rituals. But I’ve realized it’s not about where you are or what you do — it’s about how you are.
Whether I’m bowing to the sunrise, navigating airport lines, or letting go of relationships that no longer serve me, Zen has taught me to embrace life as it is, in all its messy, imperfect glory.
Conclusion
Zen isn’t something you find on the mountain or in a book. It’s not something you bring with you on a trip or take away from it. Zen is the experience of being present, letting go, and embracing life as it is — whether you’re peeling potatoes, sitting in silence, or climbing mountains.
As Shunryu Suzuki said, “In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind, there are few.” Every moment is an opportunity to begin again. And maybe, just maybe, that’s where the real Zen lies.
Key Lessons
- Zen is about presence, not perfection.
- Letting go creates space for peace.
- Silence deepens connection.
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